Known for riding off the front of group rides only to be caught in the first mile, we got back on a road bike and realized he must win the Donut Derby at least once in his life. Regularly pledging we’re "not climbers," we can be found as a regular attendee of Trexlertown's Thursday Night Training Criterium or sitting on the couch watching Paris-Roubaix reruns. We have been constant riders of the Hell of Hunterdon in New Jersey and raced the Tour of the Battenkill.

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Review: Mad Alchemy Dark Purifying Chamois Cream

Review: Mad Alchemy Dark Purifying Chamois Cream

It’s been years since we have explored the usage of chamois cream. To those who shrug off usage and say, “My bike fits,” we say have another look. Mad Alchemy, a forerunner in cycling salves, has produced a product for those looking for a little dark help.



One of the major reasons we have avoided chamois cream is the overwhelming scent given off at any given time. Sitting at the start of a group ride, yet a minty wafting is taking over the riders? No thanks. Following someone for a leadout in the local Strava segment, but the slip stream smells like lotion? Not for us. Mad Alchemy brags that its Dark Purifying Chamois Cream avoids situations like these. Therefore we had to explore in the name of riding comfort.



To be honest, hours in the saddle resulted in severe discomfort after climbing off the bike. For the most part a microbial salve was trusted to solve the issue. Mad Alchemy’s Dark Purifying chamois cream is charcoal based, it’s the same approach given to dogs when they ingest dangerous liquids that could be fatal. Charcoal’s antimicrobial power is just the scrubber needed to prevent unwanted infections or sores from a long day out. 

Though it looks like concrete, Mad Alchemy’s Dark Matter purifying chamois cream with activated charcoal goes on smooth.

The next question involves the ingredients: What is Dark Purifying chamois cream made out of to make it so remarkable? Vegan, cruelty-free, activated charcoal and its absorptive power corrals toxins, dirt, bacteria, and other damaging microorganisms that could proliferate during a long day in cycling bibs. This cream produces a cleaner chamois as well as healthier contact points on the bike, regardless of the time of riding. 



The ingredients list is something of note. Mad Alchemy uses ingredients such as ginger, frankincense, white grapefruit, tea tree, and coriander oils. Compiling this list creates a barrier that prevents inflammation, foreign organisms, and basic grime. Mad Alchemy Dark Purifying Chamois Cream acts as a wall to keep bad things out while restoring the good things like chamois pads.



Our first several uses of Dark Purifying chamois cream had a slight concern - while the salve is dark, it is even darker on the area of application. With concerns of staining our cycling garments, Mad Alchemy’s Dark Purifying chamois cream did not leave stains or create buildup. After multiple uses, our cycling kits have remained stain free and as comfortable as ever. Mad Alchemy does not guarantee using Dark Purifying chamois cream on light colored clothing. 



Per the Mad Alchemy website, this cream is described as cleansing and protective. We’d have to agree with this notion as the Darky Purifying aided in longer rides becoming successful. The best part was that no one noticed it was being used except us.

Essay: On the Ode to the Group Ride

Essay: On the Ode to the Group Ride

Events: Fools Classic 2023

Events: Fools Classic 2023