Known for riding off the front of group rides only to be caught in the first mile, CJ got back on a road bike and realized he must win the Donut Derby at least once in his life. Regularly pledging he's "not a climber," he can be found as a regular attendee of Trexlertown's Thursday Night Training Criterium or sitting on the couch watching Paris-Roubaix reruns. CJ has been a constant rider of the Hell of Hunterdon in New Jersey and races the Tour of the Battenkill before going into seasonal hiding on cross-country ski trails.

Events: Fleche Buffoon and Why You Should Do It

Events: Fleche Buffoon and Why You Should Do It

(2016) I can’t imagine there are too many people out there who are seeking a sort of ‘day out’ on tap for this Saturday. Allow me to explain. One of the newest Kermesse Sport events, Fleche Buffoon, mimics the climb-fests of the tail end of the Spring Classics. So when I say ‘day out’ I mean to precede it with “brutal.”

 

I’ve stated several times on creakybottombracket about the Delaware River’s acute carving of the valley leaving behind some cracking climbs. I’ve also stated before just one of those climbs in a ride is often considered success as it is. Putting together roughly thirteen of them is straight ludicrous. But that’s why it’s a must-do event.

 

I feel I have my work cut out for me to convince people that this course is something to look forward to. But hear me out: these are the climbs Strava was built for. Despite being short in length, they make up for it in technicality. Want to stand atop the KOM/ QOM board for the day? You’ll have to charge up the hills without any hesitation. That very hesitation could knock you down scores of places despite being seconds from the top. I think certain hills should be endured while some should be attacked.

 

What’s more is that each climb gouges power out of the legs. There is no rhythm up these hills. They are brute force crushers that leave one peeking over the shoulder upon its completion to wonder, “Did that really just happen?” I will go on record to say that nearly all of these hills are for climbing; I would never recommend some of these for descending. Unless of course one wants to “…shoot right out there” as they say in the movies.

 

I’m also sure that many riders are still looking for that previous year’s snap in the legs. Fatigue will be a factor when it comes to the return leg. More than one rider will want it to be over with at the farthest point on the course. The hills may be to where Iron Maiden suggests you run, but the distance is nothing to scoff at, either. Seventy-five miles of ‘up’ is a decent reason to push the bike around the neighborhood. But you won’t do that will you? If you’ve made it this far into the article, I’m assuming you’re on the fence.

 

The reasons to subject you to these ascents are the experience. There are numerous general stores in front of which one can be photographed like the old days, sipping on a glass bottle of go-go elixir. Naturally it wouldn’t be an article without recommending the stop at Homestead General Store as well as the revamped Lumberville General Store (also serving Homestead Coffee). Utilizing these two stops at least can give one hope.

 

And then there’s the Volendam Windmill at the top of Adamic Hill Road to give a bit of Euro-flare to the whole thing.

 

If I managed to convince you to register, then I am glad. There aren't too many people who register for something like this on a whim (and two-and-a-half-days prior). We have such unique roads around here. This time we select roads to make one look up. I think you’ll find these climbs to be suitably stinging. 

Events: Fleche Buffoon 2016

Events: Fleche Buffoon 2016

Events: Fools Classic 2016

Events: Fools Classic 2016